Saturday, January 5, 2008

A Note From God.

A Note from God
Current mood: drained
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Dear Andrea,

Saw that you chimed in and wanted to send a quick note to let you know I did get your message.

Yeah, sorry about the sore throat--better make sure that's not strep on Monday, because even in my omniscience, omnipotence and omnipresence, I can't bloody keep track of everything, so I'm not sure what new dreaded malady I threw your way. I was multi-tasking at the time.

I dunno, I guess I felt that you weren't quite SICK ENOUGH last month, and being the sarcastic Joe that I am, I thought it might be funny to allow germs to attack you again, knowing your resistance is low, your defenses are down and you've been treading thin ice as it is. At the very least, it'll teach you to finish your antibiotics this time.

What was up with you in the Jewel parking lot? I remembered that you get all out-of-sorts and flighty at certain junctures during the month, but when I saw you actually look down and WONDER if you were actually WEARING SHOES, I had to chuckle. That's pretty bad, Cha Cha.

Funny that any time you scroll down your web history, and see "," even though you and Luke were looking up details about his Spidey-sapien, you think of Rob. And laugh. At least I gave you the ability to think of Rob and actually laugh. Finally. Sheesh.

Yeah, I too saw the two friends who encountered one another at the gas station last night, who clearly hadn't seen one another in a long time, and they warm, boistrous conversation they were having beside you as you pumped gas. You totally should've walked up to them and said, "Wait. Isn't anyone going to ask me HOW I HAVE BEEN? 'Cuz I'm having a really kind of shitty day...GROUP HUG!" But I know how you feel about strangers thinking you're even crazier than you really are. So your hesitancy was thereby acceptable.

Why did Drozd have to lose his only surviving brother? Only I can answer that, and right now, I don't plan to. I know my timing sucks. Sorry. But at least Steven knows you're all thinking of him, praying for him and his family, and I promise I'll do right by him. So stop worrying.

You know what? Have some more cranberry juice, pop a couple Tylenol and go back to bed. Things will be clearer and less painful when you awaken, that I can guarantee.


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