Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Cupcake Blunder....on Luke’s Birthday. UPDATED.

Cupcake Blunder....on Luke’s Birthday. UPDATED.
Current mood: jedi
Category: Food and Restaurants

Suffice it to say, my ducks have NOT been in a row since last week and all the added stress, plus 5 nights of acute insomnia. Unfortunately, this all falls the very week of my son's 8th birthday, so let's say I'm operating at approximately 45% of what Normal Mommy would otherwise be.

I was all poised to make the cupcakes for Luke to take to school today, right as Luke went to bed ("went" to bed, note...not "fell asleep"). Looking over the list of necessary ingredients, I cursed myself for not having any eggs in the house, of which I needed THREE. Historically, when I do have eggs, no one eats them anyway, and I totally didn't pay attention to that when I bought the cake cupcake mix. Whoops. So I added an extra half cup of oil to replace the eggy liquid, which was another mistake. Don't get me wrong, I'm an EXCELLENT cook. But a lousy baker.

While the cupcakes baked, I wrapped up a conversation.....

Andrea M: Hey, if I accidentally forgot eggs, will my cupcakes be okay?
sonicflux99: i mean...
sonicflux99: um
sonicflux99: no
Andrea M: wah
sonicflux99: they won't fluff up
Andrea M: I'll just tell the kids I made hockey pucks on purpose then
Andrea M: they're rising a little but not much
sonicflux99: yep
sonicflux99: have fun with the pucks

My hopes weren't completely dashed--a couple of the cupcakes actually had reasonable shape to them, but yeah....the vast majority look like little hockey pucks. But I figured, these kids are eight? WTF do they care, as long as it's sugar, right? Even frosting and sprinkles couldn't save 'em, and when Luke saw them in the kitchen this morning, he said....

"Mommy, why are so many of the Did you forget to put eggs in the batter? If you forget eggs, they won't fluff up!"

Thanks, Luke. Thanks for being the 4th person in 8 hours to inform me of this, and thank you for reiterating that you're the smartest little person on the planet.

Let's hope I have tape to secure the wrapping paper, or I'll have to chew an awful lot of gum this afternoon for emergency adhesive. Or use Band-Aids.


Speaking of Band-Aids, the birthday boy wanted one after school and an after-school class after bonking his head on his father's couch, when I dropped him off to play with (read: stay out of my hair) Craig's mom till dinner time. The head-bonking segued into a good 1/2 hour of non-stop bawling, whereupon he collapsed off my lap, onto the couch and fell asleep. Another day of aruguing with the class bully, not having the opportunity to stop @ my house for his favorite toy gun, blah blah. And...

"Mom, those cupcakes you made were DISGUSTING. They crumbled apart as soon as you took a bite out of them, they had no flavor, they were EMBARASSINGLY TERRIBLE, MOMMY!"

(Mommy sheepishly apologizes again.)

At this very moment, Lame Ass Attempt At Baking A Dessert For My Son's Birthday 2 is in the oven, this time a cake, and YES, I remembered to put the eggs in. I'm praying for fluff.

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