Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Nobody Gets Too Much Heaven No More.


Guy's known about my brother's band playing the Hard Rock tomorrow since Halloween.

He didn't say "Boo" about it all week or when I reminded him about it this morning.

Suddenly, he's booked a trip to visit his daughter in Boston, leaving tomorrow morning. He'll be gone all week.

The judges' votes are in. 10/10/10 on douche points, although your dismount left a lot to be desired.

Congratulations, Guy, you get the Gold Medal!

I decided to skip telling him I love him when he hung up on the phone tonight.What the fuck is the goddamn point?



If I endured visits from my parents as often as Guy and Lady GuyGuy go visit their daughters, I'd slit my throat. It's college and young adult independence time. Cut the fucking cord already! Oh, right, they have to go tighten the girls' chastity belts.




22 comments:

VHM said...

Every single time men have treated me like he treats you, it's wound up being a cheap way to flee. He's well past douchey, which would at least be doing something for your lady parts. He's into just, what an asshat.

BMF said...

You've got to be kidding me. He let you know tonight that he wasn't going to go with you and Meg tomorrow night?

And he's known about it for a week, and suddenly he has to to play Daddy to his kid for a whole fucking week? She must be out of money.

I'm one to advocate extensive drug use, but damn, Annie, take a couple Valium.

I know he doesn't dig making plans to make plans, but to let you know the night before the gig is just plain inconsiderate. If he knew on the 31st that you wanted him to go, he could've at LEAST texted you or called w/a quick, "Hey, I'm going to see my kid, so scratch me off the list" message, you know?

Ok, I'm officially declaring his mourning period over and going to rag on him again, because that was prickish thing to do to you, as usual.

I'm sorry, little soldier. You're probably sad and disappointed, and I don't blame you at all.

He always says you can't count on him to be a "physical presence" in your life, so fine, but when you get invited somewhere by somebody, you don't let her know 24 hr in advance that you can't go. That's just being a dick. I'm sorry.

BMF said...

Just saw your comment, Very. Agreed.

It'd be different (kind of) if he was laying her and she was getting some remote satisfaction out of their relationship.

It seems all Annie does is wait around for him to say no to anything she suggests they do together (see also: Anoushka Shankar).

God, he makes me blood boil sometimes and I'm sorry, Annie, but you're wasting a colossal amount of time on a nobody who stomps all over you.

The Offbeat Drummer said...

Speaking of the Ahoushka Shankar concert, the contingency on the ticket says "no transfers" which I'll have to call the venue and explain that Guy can't go and I'm electing to take my mom (who'll hate it, but I was covering my ass), and see if they'll let my mom go in lieu of Guy. If they won't, I'm going to go postal on Guy, I totally will.

The Offbeat Drummer said...

If they won't transfer the ticket to my mom, I'm going to have to go alone.

Anonymous said...

BMF, you meant to say you're not one TO advocate extensive drug use.

Well, you went to see the Monkees alone...you could handle Anoushka by yourself, though I know in your heart, you thought it'd be a date of a lifetime for you and Guy. It would've been. She's an amazing sitar maestro, just like her late father.

Speaking from experience, as a general rule, if a ticket is purchased online and indicates no "refunds or transfers," you can't alter your companions if you've listed them by name. And you can't sell them--it's a marketing technique. What'd they'd do in extenuating circumstances, I'm not sure...you could say he was stuck at the hospital or some such bullshit.

Andrea + disappointment = Andrea depressed again. Ain't cool.



BMF said...

No, W, if she calls the ticket office and tells them the Douchetard can't go, I'm pretty sure they'll let her substitute tickets. It's not Annie's fault.

The Offbeat Drummer said...

They had some online form you could fill out to change compadres to attend. I took Guy out and substituted him with my mother, which was harsh.

I also purchased as single ticket to see Michael Nesmith (Monkee solo) at the same venue later in November. Hopefully, I'll have my stipend bt then, God willing!!!! Shiiiiiiit!

Off to la-la land. Feel free to rag on Guy at will, you late-nighters/early morningers.

xo

Unknown said...

He couldn't lie straight in bed! It's early am here so brain not in gear yet but agree with the above!

The Offbeat Drummer said...

Ok, the venue emailed me that I was able to change the other ticket holder to my mom. Guy is one lucky motherfucker.

I woke up sad and angry this morning and nodded off in class (again) from this new medication. It's not been a stellar week. Going to try and catch an hour nap before Luke's Parent/Teacher conference this afternoon. Oy. The only thing he's in trouble for is me reporting that I thought it was tacky of the Phys Ed teacher to be eating Twizzlers in front of the kids while teaching them gym and blabbed about it on FB. Kind of too fucking bad.

Incriminating myself, as usual....

Kate said...

Diana Ross and The Supremes,
"Set Me Free Why Don't You
Baby"

Kate said...

I mean it. Go to that concert , dressed to the nines , and walk around like that bastard don't know what he's missing. You will be hit on . I promise you. It is all in the attitude. Then Blarney Stone with be all over you. Then you say, Set Me Free, etc. I found someone better .
(I was on Newcomb Pl. too long .
Writing to prisoners doesn't help! )

BMF said...

Kate, she can go demurely to the Shankar concert since she now IS going with her mother. (Though she'd look absolutely beautiful in a sari.) But going alone to the Nesmith show? By all means, sweetheart, rock it out and pump the amp to 11! You'll have geezers all over you!

That Supremes song is called "You Keep Me Hanging On," and yes, Kate, it's more than apropos for Annie re: Guy. In one regard, I want to slap sense into Annie, because she's just not seeing it clearly. The other regard knows how deep her heart pumps and the depths she loves to with men who somehow or another satisfy her extremely obvious complex about older men.

Wouldn't it be an interesting sociological experiment to walk around life with absolutely no soul? To be in a profession where you're supposed to take care of people, but then the people you say that you love, you trample over or avoid like gum on the sidewalk?

Poor Guy's daughter has to take a breather from ecstasy, joints, Cornonas w/lime & getting mad laid while Mommy and Daddy come to town. Man that'd suck.

BMF said...

Oh! Rob! That was a great line.

Oh! Annie! That's a great Bee Gees tune!

I forgot.

Anonymous said...

Some guys just deserve a good kick to the throat. Skip the balls.

The Offbeat Drummer said...

Dummy me invites him to a blues fest in Bucktown on the the 16th I felt SURE he'd be home by...he texted back that he gets back on the 18th. That's a Monday. He told me to have fun at my brother's show tonight which, by the way, KICKED ASS, and said I just old him "mmm hmmm. I'm mad at you."

Left it at that. He can suck on that for the rest of the month as far as I'm concerned.

Not that I'm remotely prepared (financially or otherwise) to Christmas shop, I can't imagine an ingenuous enough gift to give him for the Douchtardery of 2013. And he did so well last year...

"No Reply at All...."

When will I ever learn?

VHM said...

I'd be happy to send him something from Patsy, if you'd like. She's always happy to help! (I'd offer help from Freda Jude, but Patsy usually beats me to it. >_< )

BMF said...

Oh, for the sake of God, don't start Xmas shopping for him! 2013 has been a particularly negative year for you and Guy, and I do agree with on the solo point that youre too thoughtful and generous to him.

Of course he won't be back in town for the blues fest. (Though you're smart enough to deduce that he'll be home that weekend sometime).

I'm just SO MAD that you keep getting dicked over again and again and again, when yes, while you're kind of high maintenance, I Don't see where at least a monthly catch up is not in order. You're cute and fun!!!! And deserve so much more!!!!!!

Like affection....my o'er yonder hugs/kisses are fine, but you want the real deal.





Unknown said...

I have just had a look in my crystal ball and this Is what I have seen. Annie will get guy a most wonderful and thoughtful gift, then spend a lot of time trying to arrange to meet up at the last minute which will not happen due to various guy reasons thus causing upset and heartbreak. The gift will finally be given sometime in January and a token gift will be given in return if at all.

By all means buy him a gift but don't go mad as the money can be spent on more important things

VHM said...

Watch, it'll be one of those bullshit deals where he's home, but, whooooops, didn't I tell you I'm home? No? You sure?

Anniekins knows who Patsy is, and why it'd be a mighty fine deserving prize for The Puzzle King.

The Offbeat Drummer said...

Rob's spot the fuck on.

Except it'll probably be a quick coffee in February, or he'll just show up in my alley for 5 minutes.

Very, I've already given him a bag of dirt from Ireland, we can wait till Patsy's gift dries up and turns white and send it in meriengue cookies (sp?).

You're all right, though, I'll agonize and research something incredibly special and unique for him and get a Blu-Ray of "Shaft" in return (and I don't even have a Blu Ray player). I highly doubt he's doing the 12 Days of a Guy Friend Xmas this year.

HO Ho Ho!

The Offbeat Drummer said...

My problem is, I outdo myself every year and get him more and more thoughtfully wonderful gifts (without breaking the bank). Admittedly, he did a great job last holiday season, and it was very schmoopie, but yes, we've had a rough and distant year, so my expectations will surely not be met, unless he feels really guilty.