Saturday, November 2, 2013

Aeipathy, Nefelibata and Yuanfen

Guy exhibits 2 nerve-grating behaviors: denial and avoidance. Naturally, he's Catholic and guilt-ridden.

He wants me to fictionalize or to pretend he hasn't kissed me in the past. Or that I forced it upon him, which I never did. I need to take him out and get him stinky drunk sometime to find out the truth about what compelled him to kiss me in the first place. Is he even attracted to me?

I'm still irked that he suggested I turn my blog into a fictitious account of my life.  Screw that noise! Again, NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE IT WAS FAKE because it's never been (except for my jet ski accident death). What am I supposed to tell my readers? "All that stuff from the last 6 years? Yeah, none of that actually happened, it was all just made up shit."

If a good romance story is what you're looking for, search no further than.....wait, nevermind.

I'd sent him some words that are deep and powerful regarding emotions that I'm sure he doesn't know the definition of: aeipathy, nefelibata and yuanfen. All I got back was a text saying he was at the attorney's and would check his thesaurus later. (Dummy, you need a dictionary or Google, not a thesaurus!) As Kate said, reading the will so soon? Gauche indeed. Unless, of course, in my dreams, he's at a divorce attorney's splitting up with Lady GuyGuy, which would make me more than elated.

Invited him to tag along to a gig my brother's drumming with at the Hard Rock Cafe downtown next Thursday. Meg and I are definitely going, but Guy's the one who said he wanted to hop on the bandwagon at the spur of the moment; which, in this case, I gave him a week's notice. It's not until 9pm & should only last an hour or so, so I'm sure he'll be done working. But mark my words. I will hear neither yay nor nay about whether or not he is or isn't going with us until Thursday, if I hear anything at all. 

It's the band, Not By Chance, who did the video over the summer which featured my brother recovering from his motorcycle accident. Now Steve's their studio and live drummer, which he seems to be having a lot of fun doing. He's back at work starting Monday and is able to lift 100 lbs again. Amazing for how serious his injuries were on May 1st, when the accident took place and I had to see him in that awful ICU in Rockford. Fortunately, Steve still doesn't remember anything about the accident, which is lucky and the brain's natural defense mechanism. I can't wait to see him play with Chance and the new revamp of the band. If you're in Chicago, the cover's only $7! 

A refresher on Not by Chance, "Keep Hope Alive," featuring my brother injured after his crash and in a wheelchair. He's made a miraculous recovery.

I swear, If Guy wishy-washes on coming, I'm sure I'll be singing THIS Genesis song instead:

But speaking of Phil Collins, who was so cute when he was younger in a teddy bear huggy sort of way, I came across this gem I hadn't heard in a long, long time, which reminded me of Guy. It's cheesy and dated but warms my heart. We do have a groovy kind of love (at least I think so, but of course Guy thinks I just have a very active imagination and we have no actual feelings for one another):

I DID, as a matter of fact, complete the 2 heavy midterm papers that were due yesterday by 5pm and midnight, respectively. The psychological analysis one about myself (I used Meg's name as a pseudonym for me, (her real first name) that had to be I think 7-10 SINGLE spaced pages long (which is the equivalent of a 14-20 page paper in double space). But I cranked it out in one sitting (not including smoke breaks) and submitted it late Thursday night, leaving that at least out of the way while I concentrated on the paper about Meg's real-life career development, which was the harder of the two papers and also the one not due until midnight on Friday. That ended up being 9 pages, which sufficed, and most of it was truly constructed based on my interview with Meg. I laid down at 5pm for a power nap, and didn't awaken until 2 hours later, giving me 5 hours to write the paper on Meg. I cranked that one out as well, in one sitting.  I'm very relieved that my major work is done for a week or two at least. My brain needs a break from all that academic writing!

I'm a little more hypomanic the past couple of days, largely due to the deadlines imposed upon me. I do work best under pressure, and while the depression still looms, I even managed to get my pile of things to file and do under control in my room this morning, when I woke up at 6am and was grocery shopping by 8:30 in the morning. At least I made a dent and I was pleased with the way the papers turned out, for the most part. 

Good news! My mom's going out tonight to play board games and eat pizza at church! Has she converted to Guy's church without telling me? PS, Guy's Catholic parish has turned loco. Now you don't even have to show up and worship God. They started accepting offerings online. How handy!

Luke's Holy Confirmation was great. Here's a picture of his godmother, my cousin Susie, Luke, Pastor Dave, Luke's father, Craig, and my brother Steve, Luke's godfather. Great party, great celebration, great church service. A tear-jerker, for sure. Luke, enjoy your Lutheranocity to the n'th degree.

He received a Holy Spirit Stoll, a certificate and a beautiful plaque bearing his Confirmation Verse, which says "Lucas Alexander Bechtel," and the date of his Confirmation. What's funny? We had to buy the robe as part of the Confirmation class. Where else is he going to wear it? Dress up as a pastor for next Halloween? A ghost? Wear it to the church voters' meetings? 

Since he probably won't end up reading this, here are your definitions:


Kate said...

Congratulations Luke! Andrea you have done a great job making sure that Luke has always been surrounded by people who love and believe in him . I know you are proud of Luke but I hope you know what an amazing mother you have been to him. Your approach to mothering is untraditional , creative , fun , challenging and completely as only Andrea "Being a Mom " could be. It changed her. There was finally someone on this earth who understood better than anyone else . I saw the pictures of her with Luke and there was a joy in her smile I had never seen. There was also a confidence that I had never seen before either. The older he gets , the more she knows that she already has at least one soul mate on earth. They support each other , they love each other and they revel in each other's creative endeavors . They read each other's expression's , they catch othe people' mangled english and shae a giggle with a shared glance . Luke also possesses Andrea's immense compassion.
The main thing they both have is, (as a friend of mine used to say ), Talent , big, big , Talent.
Bravo Andrea , besides all the other great things you've done ,
you have raised a wonderful son.

Andrea Miklasz said...

Oh, Kate, that's got me crying!!!

I'm definitely an offbeat mother--what else *could* I be? I'm firm but not strict, I allow Luke to push boundaries and as a result, he respects the tenets of the upbringing I'm trying to impart upon him.

Luke and I ARE connected souls. We think alike. Did I tell you he's written a giant draft of a science fiction trilogy?? He wants to be a writer and film maker. I'm the first person he shows his YouTube creations to for feedback.

He's compassionate, dedicated, fiercely protective, and it'll probably be not until he goes off to college or art/film school when he actually allows me to go out on a date, because no man is a match for his mother. That's not to say he's a pussy or a mama's boy, but he has a keen instinct as to what's good and what's toxic for me.

Certainly, in almost 14 years, he's been through more than a child should have to bear, but he is RESILIENT. Other, weaker children wouldn't be capable. I have raised Luke to be strong, and yes, than you for saying, that we (I do give Craig some credit) have surrounded Luke with positive influences and good role models, you being one of them!

What was really interesting to Meg was watching the dynamic between Luke and I, which is unusual and non-traditional, but even Meg thought he was JUST LIKE ME. Luke and I play off one another and yes, support one another.

He's getting more independent and social and has a best buddy with whom he hangs out almost every day, and they ride their bikes to 7-11 for Slurpees, or to the mall, or wherever they want to explore. I trust him implicitly and he respects the boundaries I've set for him, some of which his father disagrees with.

We have a meeting and "tour" of his high school scheduled for next Thursday, during which we'll find out in what classes he's tested into. He tests at a post-high school in 90% of his scores on standardized tests. He's smarter than I am, by far. There has been rumor between his teachers at his elementary school and Maine South HS that he *may* entirely skip freshman year of high school and enter as a sophomore. He's so humble about his genius, it's ridiculous. He thinks he's dumb. But you should read what he writes. The complexity. The linguistics.

But overall, he's a kind, funny, humble and enjoyable person to be with. I love it when he's home with me, even when we're doing our own thing. He's saved my life and held my hand through some very tough situations. Mum's a handful.

Perhaps our finest moment was when he was allowed to break the school dress code on the day of my hysterectomy in order to wear my Keith Richards "Too Tough To Die" t-shirt to school for his connection to me.

In any event, thank you so much for the shot in the motherly arm which I do need sometimes, when I feel like I'm a disservice to my teenager.

As he explained to me, his decision to be confirmed into Lutheranism and Christianity was a very personal choice, knowing he HAD a choice and it wasn't a mandate.

The favorite Bible verse he chose for Confirmation was from Revelation 2:10, the latter part of the verse, which states, "Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life." (RSV Edition)


Thanks, Kate. Love you!

Anonymous said...

Guy seems incidental in this blog post, which has switched gears into what a great mother Andrea is to Luke. I've met Luke on many occasions, and he truly is a fine young man these days, our first meeting when he was only 6, I believe. In any event, Andrea's too hard on herself for thinking she's parenting the "wrong way." There is no "right" way. From the way her son has turned out, she's done everything RIGHT. Not every parent of a teenager can claim that. He's at that age when most teens loathe their parents, but Luke wants and deserves every bit of attention and encouragement that Andrea can give him, even given how busy she is with graduate school.

Andrea, didn't he stay up all night with you the night you went to the ER for benzodiazipine withdrawal? I remember you saying he sat in your desk chair and wouldn't go to bed until you stayed in your bed and fell asleep, but you started having seizures, which was when he called 911. THAT is maturity. THAT is responsibility. THAT is LOVE. Unconditional love. I don't have any children, so I can't even imagine what it's like to raise a child as a single parent, but you're doing an excellent job.

If he tests out of freshman high school year, will he go to college when he's 17 and not 18? That'd be sweet.

Now teach him how to drum!

Andrea Miklasz said...

Yes, I'd run out of benzos before the Rx could be refilled and went into immediate withdrawal. Luke commanded me to get into my bed and stay there, and that he would stay there until I fell asleep, which didn't happen. After the grand mal seizure, when I became remotely lucid (mind you, we were trying not to wake my mom), he called the paramedics. He was exhausted and had school the next day, and still went. I can't imagine how scared he must have been, but he was the strong one.

Luke is unusual that at his age, he still enjoys my company, and I, his. I largely attribute that to freedom of expression and to be careful and not reckless with your stuff, people, or emotions, but to appreciate all that's a positive in our lives, even on days when I'd just as soon as kill myself, literally.

If The Flaming Lips were "Waiting for a Superman," I've already got mine.

Now I just need a boyfriend to do shit with.

BMF said...

Luke is very, very cool. Part of that's nature, part is nurture. He also inherited some serious ass brain power cells, criminy!

I'm glad Annie's taught him how to capitalize on his individualism and uniqueness instead of buying him boat loafers & clothes from Abercrombie & Fitch. Neither Annie or Luke follow trends of any kind, which is awesome.

I'm also glad that Annie essentially let Luke choose what religion (if any) he wanted to practice, even though he goes to a Lutheran school. He could've opted out of confirmation and put a golden calf on his desk for decoration. And thank God he didn't turn out to buy into creationism! I'd have to come in there and beat him around if he did. WTG, Annie.

I can't imagine Guy has estate bullshit to tend to at 9:00 on a Thursday night. He should go. I'd love to see Steve drum!

Rob Cheney said...

Cool kid and a cool Mum!
Glad to hear your brother is back behind the drums

Andrea Miklasz said...

Thanks, Rob!

Needless to say, I'm not terribly popular with the other parents at Luke's school....because we're so unconventional.

It'll be interesting to see what the high school says about his placement. If he could skip his first year, glory, that would be awesome. I just hope he's emotionally ready to do that.

He's quite the character.

And yes, BMF, Guy really should come see Steve drum with Chance's band (The leader's name is actually Chancellor, and he goes by Chance, which is kinda cool.) Fridays are Guy's day off, so it's not like he has to be at the hospital at 6am or anything. One of Meg's friends might go if it's a "group outing" like Guy always wants, he's welcome to come with. The Hard Rock's a pretty big gig for Steve, considering he hasn't played outside his church's contemporary bands (like me) for several years. Since recovering from the accident, he's turned pro again and I get whacky texts from him like I get from you.."I'm in the studio..." blah blah blah.

Andrea Miklasz said...

As predicted, I'm left singing "Misunderstanding." Fuck him.

BMF said...

I just noticed--Phil Collins does a really good job of driving on the right side of the road, for being English. That is all.