Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I Love My Blog Tracker Software: Part 2

Pandora, I said I "liked" Neil Young. I gave him a "thumbs up." That doesn't mean I want to hear him every 15 minutes on the channel I created, "Annie's Personal Awesomeness Mix." Same with Dylan. So much Neil Young that I had to "thumbs down" a few of his songs, for which Pandora apologized and said they'd refrain from playing again, but I abandoned my personal channel this morning for my Flaming Lipsesque channel that at least gave me Dead Can Dance, The Cocteau Twins, Interpol, The Breeders, and, of course, The Lips, but mysteriously threw in Enya. ENYA? Who do I look like, HER? Oh, never mind.

But I digress.

A fine howdy-do this evening to whomever has Comcast Cable as their service provider with an ISP in Elmwood Park, IL somewhere around the vicinity of Harlem and Grand Ave. I know the tracking software isn't all that accurate, but still. If it's a Comcast ISP out of Bartlett, IL, that's me. If it's out of Glencoe, that's my Tatus. If it's out of Arlington Heights, that's my wacko ex-boyfriend.

Whomever this is has spent more than 2 hours in the last couple of days pouring through my blogs, and seems awfully interested in blowing up a picture of myself with my ex-husband from when we were engaged. The only person I know in Elmwood Park is my ex-husband's girlfriend, who quite frankly, isn't terribly interested in my daily doings, but might explain away the photograph obsession. If it is her, rest assured, my clenches aren't intent on snatching back my former spouse, whom I do love, but for whom I have a complicated enough romantic life *not* to want to include in the mix of things. As for the photograph? That was like almost 20 years ago. I don't look like that anymore. I have much better hair and much smaller glasses and a far smaller body. I've aged well.

Wow, Pandora. Hit the nail right on the head when I just put the Annie Awesomeness Mix back on. England Dan and John Ford Coley's "It's Sad to Belong." I'd not heard that track off their greatest hits compilation. Actually, I didn't realize that apart from "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight" that they'd HAD any other hits, but you can't go wrong with a lyric like "It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along." Ain't that the truth? But you know me; I'm an idealist. I believe that nothing is impossible when it comes to love. And apart from the people I vehemently hate with a passion, I'm a little bit in love with just about everyone.

But I digress.

Anyway, interested party, you Googled my name. Apart from my blog, how boring must THAT have been? I drum in a band. I write for an addiction/recovery blog in the United Kingdom. My bland professional vitae is on LinkedIn. I'm notorious for nothing. Right now, I'm wearing about 5 layers of clothing because it's cold out when I go to smoke. I'm in a few Google circles, but to be honest, I don't know the first thing about what to do with them. You can't read my Twitter, because I'm smart enough to keep *some* things private to only those whom I've approved for access. Ooh, you *can* see my twitpics. Now THOSE are riveting. I signed a petition for "Occupy Musicians," though that was kinda useless. My Facebook is on public lockdown. My heart belongs to someone else at the moment. That's seriously about all you're going to find out about me, unless you're really bored and have extra spending money and want to do a background check on me, in which case, you'll find nothing more than the fact that I separated from my husband in March of 2007 but didn't divorce him until March of 2009 and my credit's kinda shitty but is being rebuilt, having filed a Chapter 13 in 2000, which I paid off years ago.

Seriously, if you want to creepily stalk me, I might be skinny but can roundhouse kick a person half to death (perhaps not right now w/a broken tailbone) and my cell phone is always propped and ready to dial 911 because I'm scared of my ex-boyfriend.

Here's an idea. Leave a comment, even if you choose to do so anonymously, which I discourage but would understand if you didn't want to out yourself. Tell me what you're getting out of the hours you're reading my blog. If there's something not in the blogs you want to know but are afraid to ask, ask me. Is it that you appreciate my writing? If so, then thank you! You have something against me? Cough it up and let me defend myself. Offer me enough money, and I'll reveal the real name of famous blogger Mimi Smartypants and you can go stalk her.

I'm appreciative of my readers, don't get me wrong. I'm just insanely curious.



Paul Cienniwa said...

I've only started reading your blog, but I am unable to read all of your (too?) frequent posts. But I did leave a comment!

Annie Miklasz, Offbeat Drumming Lunatic said...

Just think, Paul, of the bevy of posts I'll be able to generate now that my job has been stripped away from me!