Friday, June 20, 2014

What Guy Couldn't Handle...

This is what I think drew Guy away from my friends and I. Obviously, he must have been pretty square his whole life. When I asked him if he'd seen "Deep Throat," he said everyone in his dorm in college went to see it, but HE didn't. Mmm hmmm. Come on, we've all SEEN it.

Double goes for Lady GuyGuy. She's as square as a Rubik's Cube and without all the colors lining up...

I purposely took down BMF's blog because of too many nosybodies. We thought about fighting them off, but then we didn't think it was a great idea. So Kate emailed BMF's blog about me directly to Guy. I wonder if he read it yet.

I'm doing a favor for a friend at school who's going to teach in Egypt for 6-12 months. He needs a PO Box in the States to get his mail from the grad school about PsyD programs. I told him it's really no trouble at all to check his PO Box every week or 2 and mail him his goodies to Egypt. He's divorced, like me. He smokes, like me. He's really sweet. I don't consider it a date/date, but he's taking me out for food after school next Thursday. A meal with a man who's not Guy! It's more of a thank you get together, and he's paying for all the postage and parcel to Egypt, but I'm looking forward to it. A meal out with a man who's not Guy...I say again, I'm not used to this!

I was finally put on another water pill because I puffed up so badly again. I'm pissing so much I can actually see my ankles and feet bones again. I'm on some new medications that make me sort of sick to my stomach, but I'm pressing forward. Medicaid's still up in the air. I'm supposed to call them on Monday to see where my case has escalated, but that's like the worst time to try and get a hold of them. Craig said he paid me his arrears, but he has no idea how it's going to get to me. New debit card? Check? Magic beans? Time will tell.

I finally got my payout from the Chicago Fire Department for failing their physical agility test in 2007. All of the women failed. The test was totally biased. I finished it, just too slowly for the Department. The women who didn't make the cut filed a class action lawsuit against the Fire Dept and we won. Those young enough to still get hired were, and are being paid retroactively from 2007 when they should've received a salary. They made out like bandits and got the job. I'm too old now and it wasn't meant to be anyway, though I trained WITH a firefighter for 2 years to be ready for the test and I thought I did really well, still I failed. Let's just say I received a handsome payout, quite large for a class action suit. That'll help me out a LOT, especially if I'm scrambling by the end of summer/beginning of fall for funds if I transfer to the other university. A nice cushion. A very nice cushion.

I'm transitioning to an e-cigarette. They're very tasty and believe it or not, my mom's letting me smoke them in the house since they're scentless vapor. I've ordered a buttload of cartridges and can count on one hand how many real cigarettes I've had each day the last 3 days. It's part of my quitting plan. So essentially, I'm lying on my bed with my swollen feet propped up (damn water retention) smoking e-cigs and still behind in my assignments for the summer courses, which, as long as I don't fail with an F, I'm cool with financial aid. Thus, with all the shit that's going down in my life right now, I'm hanging on as best I can exerting the least amount of effort as possible.

 Which is sort of my life motto, isn't it?

I was emailed an old blog entry from February, someone sent it to me and I don't know whom, which I found profoundly strange. But it was a nice tribute to Guy. There was a picture in it that, to me anyway, is still true today, though our friendship is kaput, it would seem, which I hope isn't forever. It said this:

And oh my, are we tangled.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear you're all swelled up again.That must suck. But puffing away on an e-cig with your legs propped up doesn't sound so bad. There are wore things in life.

So Luke wore you out today? God bless him for letting you rest while he got what he needed.

SO happy to hear about the firefighter payout. You deserved it. I remember you training with Wes and the rigors you went through to get in shape for the test, which was obviously biased.

A date? With a non-Guy? While it may be a thank-you, take it. This guy obviously thinks you're phenomenal and it's mighty nice of you to pick up his mail and send it all the way to fucking Egypt. I think you like him. And likewise!

Don't sweat your summer classes. You'll pass, even by the skin of your chinny-chin-chin. Don't sweat it, hun.

I'm SO glad you got your payout from the fire department. I know that was a long time coming. Every little bit helps, doesn't it? I remember when you failed that test. You were so distraught. I'm glad you got what you deserve, and more. BMF and I remember how hard you trained for that test.

Chin up, Andrea. Things will turn around. I promise. Guy aside, things will magically turn in your favor. Maybe even Guy will, though if he read BMF's blog, don't count on it.

You're not doomed to a life of failure. You're destined for greatness. I mean that with all my heart. Count me in as one of those who love you.

Curly Headed Fella

BMF said...

So happy to hear your date/non-date went so well. He actually claps when you say something funny? How could he not?

You're so pretty, I'll be anxious to hear how this develops. And you have the best personality out there. How could he resist you?

Kate's woo a man with a hot bod and great looks is easy, but to win someone's heart with your mind is 1000 times deeper. And you deserve the best!

Please don't let him think I'm in the way!

Andrea Miklasz said...

Don't worry, BMF, he doesn't know anything about you. He's never heard of you. as my friend or otherwise.

I wish he wasn't leaving. But I will woo him with my wordsmithing.

And, by the grace of God, I'll have lot 75 lbs by the time he comes back...

BMF said...

I would argue that he likes you just for who you are, the numbers on the scale aside. Remember, he asked you out first!

Andrea Miklasz said...

There was this picture on FB of Marilyn Monroe with a caption about how she didn't have thin arms, or a flat stomach, her thighs touched and her boobs sagged. It said she was one of the most beautiful women in history. It said to think of yourself as a Marilyn, and that you're beautiful. He "liked" that. :)

Andrea Miklasz said...

He "liked" another self-empowering picture I put up on FB about not being perfectly built or shaped, but still be confident in your beauty.

Either he's just very sympathetic to my fat ass or he actually likes me for me just the way I am. I hope it's the latter.

BMF said...

See, goofy girl, he likes you for who you are on the inside, despite your recent weight gain, which'll come off by the time he gets back. AS you told me tonight, men from other countries view women's bodies differently than the standard we hold on tight to in the US. You're still cute, still pretty, and you have so much to talk about it. It sucks that he's going away, but as e both know, distance is immaterial. Keep yourself on his mind, and you just never know when he comes back.

See what happens when you free yourself from Guy and his bullshit? Your heart is open. Keep it that way.

Good things come to those who wait..who knows, you may be vacationing in Egypt sooner than you think!

Well played, Annie, well played.