Guy's done with my disparaging comments about Lady GuyGuy. She's his choice. He made that perfectly clear in a phone call tonight.
He just called and informed me he doesn't want me to call, email or text him. Ever again.
He doesn't want to even be friends. He wants me to cut off all communication to him altogether.
She's his "Rock of Gibraltar" and he's not going to wreck his 30 year marriage for a loser like me. Very talked today about being open to love other people who are emotionally available, but I told her, prophetically, that I was too bitter and had resigned myself to a life alone and that I was getting to be okay with that. That I had Luke, but he'll leave me eventually for his own life. Guy said I had supportive friends, who might be in alternative relationships, but he wanted no part of that. That's not what we're talking about. I'm talking about a life partner. I won't ever have one. Of this, I'm positive. Guy said I'm "wonderful" and hopes I'll find somebody someday, but it won't be him. And people wonder why I'm jaded about love.
He doesn't love me. He lied when he said he did. Repeatedly.
His actions don't match his statements, but that's apparently immaterial.
I wish Meg were awake to talk to but she has to get up at 4am for work. I'd call Kate, but the walls here have ears, and I don't want my mom or Luke in on the conversation, so I'll call her tomorrow.
Guy says he has no secrets from his wife, but I kind of doubt she's in on all the canoodling and kisses we've had the last few years, unless things blew up at home. They had to have. Somebody saw or read something he didn't cover his tracks about. He said I wrote some "bizarre" blogs. All of my blogs are slightly "bizarre," to be honest. What were the intentions of his affections? A tease? Just a flattered, horny old man? Who knows. We'll never know, it would seem.
He says I still have BMF. That's comforting, given he's married too. Happily. At least I know for a blunt fact that he loves me.
In my mind, there is no thing as true love for a lifetime, but I wish Guy and his wife the best of luck. They're going to have a BALL building the Escher jigsaw puzzle I gave him for his birthday when they go on vacation to Michigan this summer. Let's just say I'm the missing link.
I'm just letting the tears stream from my eyes. I'm not stopping them.
19 comments:
Well I'm kind of shocked about this especially after the last great time you had going out as friends. But I guess he got some kind of guilt thing but a shame all contact been withdrawn :( x
It's the cut off of contact altogether that has me the most puzzled. Like Meg said, it sounded like he was reciting lines. I think somebody found out something and he was given an ultimatum.
There's really no other explanation for him to cut me out of his life. He promised me when I left the medical practice that he'd never abandon me, but, as in all the times he said he loved me, he lied.
Right git.
This is an ultimatum , pure and simple. Andrea , he told you not to write about his private life in your blogs. She read the one about your trip to the Art Institute. I wonder if she knows he said she has him by the balls.
Andrea, read between the lines. Stop being sentimental. She had a gun to his head when he said that. Don't be naive. Think about all the other stuff that has gone down between the two of you . All I can say is," Dr. O'Connor grow some balls. Why did you lead someone with bipolar manic depression on with $150 dinners if you didn't care about her?" Andrea of course Karyn loved Germany. She's a freaking Nazi. She controls her husband. She was rude to your party guests. She thinks she is a big important Doctor's wife. I hope she reads this because if she knew all the details her head would explode!
My sweet Annie,
I cried actual, for real tears, when I heard about this. I can't imagine the level of pain you must be going through at the moment. But, see, I have a heart. I think Guy does too, but it's just been ripped out and taken away by his wife.
At least my wife is aware of our involvement and accepts your place in my life an mine in yours. I don't think Lady GG is the same. I think she's a possessive bitch. My wife knows you fill voids and interests she can't fulfill and in a way, relies on you to fill those voids. No, I'm not getting a divorce and running away with you forever. But you've known that for years, and we're both ok with that. It doesn't mean my wife freaks out when we get cozy when we see each other. Then again, she's awesome and hip, and sure, Guy's been married 3o years, but I've been dating/married to my wife for over 20 years too.
From what you told me, yes, perhaps you divulged too much in the birthday blog. The fantasy of how you'd treat him if he was yours. SOMEBODY got a hold of that and Lady GG caught wind, or some such nonsense, and it spiraled out of control after that.
Please, whatever you do, a) don't hurt yourself or b) doubt that that Guy had nothing but love in his heart for you. I agree with the previous posts that was given an ultimatum....pick her or me, but you can't have both. Cut off all communication with her or I'll chop your dick off, something like that.
How square their relationship is makes me sad, but they're old people, so what do you expect?
You said he has no secrets from his wife? Is she aware of all the canoodling you two have engaged in in the last 5 years? That doesn't bother her? Yowsa! "I kissed Annie a few times and commented to her as we were hugging how soft the leather was on her jacket!" I'm sure was the topic of dinner one night. SOMEHOW I DOUBT IT.
Going into total cliche mode, it's not you, it's him. You're such a beautiful and lovely person and personality, I can't imagine how anyone could NOT fall in love with you. Guy's wife isn't the Rock of Gibraltar. She's the rock that Charlie Brown gets in his Halloween bag when he goes trick or treating, when everyone else got candy.
She was a c**t at your party, I'm sorry. If Guy can't see that, he's more than colorblind.
What'd you say? First he said to delete his phone #, then at the end of the conversation, he told you to call him sometime, when, when you're over being in love with him? What a lame ass.
My deepest heart goes out to you. I also know that you have scant opportunity to cry. Maybe with your therapist tomorrow. You can't exactly predict when you're going to cry, but try and have a friend with you.
I, for one, can't wait to wrap you in my arms this fall. While I highly doubt it, maybe Guy will have grown a pair of balls by then and admit how much he loves you. Like Warren Zevon says in "Searching For a Heart," "they say love conquers all. You can start it like a car. You can't stop it with a gun." (I know this because I know you love Warren Zevon.)
Love never just disappears. Voodoo and bullshit get involved.
I'm here. Anywhere I am. I love how Guy told you "Well, you still have BMF!" That's moot consolation , even coming from me.
Call me if you need to. I, unlike Guy, don't take trips and vacations without my cell on me, because someone who loves me might need me.
Love how he sprung this on you days after the Adler bullshit. His timing, as usual is impeccable.
Fuck.
xoxoxoxoooxoxoxoxoxoxxoooxoxoooxo
Guy is a Brain Fuck Ultra-Violence Booger Fucker!!
Andrea, you stole my line!
This is all too freaky and out of the blue.
And his timing, as everyone says, SUCKS BIG BALLS.
Get some new friends? It's not your fault most of your closest friends live out of state. You have a close circle of trusted and you're so loyal and loving, someone would have to be really fucking special to make it into your crowd.
Why is he doing this to you? Why now? He wasn't lying when he told you he loved you. If he was, he wouldn't have told you over and over and over again.
You know how nice and passive BMF and I are, and how we want everyone to love one another, but if we catch him in town in September, we're renting a boat and throwing him deep in the lake for breaking your heart.
Swear to God.
Your love life with Guy is like a terrible Bryan Adams song:
http://youtu.be/nCBASt507WA
Oh, God, I HATE that song!
I think I should do like an American Idol thing and audition a new crew of friends, since Guy thinks I don't have enough.
I need a panel of judges though. I know exactly who to ask.
I am insulted that Dr. Dick told you to get new friends. We are too open and we talk about our lives. We don't have dirty little secrets. He's mad at you because you express yourself. Didn't he say he loved your honesty , among other things? Tim , your former professor , who never says things just to make people feel better , says TOC was reading from a script.
The Bryan Adams song hit the nail on the head , perfectly. It made my ears bleed , but it could not have summed up the
situation any better. You are too good for him. Forget about him. It is easier than you think. You are a phenomenal woman. He isn't even mediocre. You have out grown him. I can see it. You will too. You deserve the best and you will find him because he is looking for you!
Why oh why did i click on BMF's link to the Brian Adams tune that has now been on constant rotation in my head for the past hour with no signs of subsiding!
Sorry for posting that ear worm, Rob. I hate that song too, but it seemed to fit Annie's situation.
One thing you should know know about me is that I can find the perfect song for the perfect moment in life. This is a gift I've given Annie, who can do almost the same. She hit the nail on the head with "Bell Bottom Blues." Good job, Little Soldier.
We can speculate until we're blue in the face was to why Guy cut off Annie, but she deserves better. Believe me, I know how much she loves him, but I still think she divulged too much.
The Ganesha statue in her room is going to light on fire!
I agree totally with Meg that this isn't how he wanted it to end. A quick phone call which left her crying was a poor choice on Guy's part.
You told me about your patented roundhouse kick to the tailbone. You also told me Brice Lee said, I fear not he man who's practiced 10,000 kicks once....I fear the man who's kicked one way 10,000 times. Go for it, babe.
I got that foot cramp that means my world is ending! :(
I'm really, really tired.
But Annie, your whole LIFE is like a bad Bryan Adams song. That's only slightly better than it being like a bad David Lee Roth solo song.
I meant Bruce Lee, not Brice Lee. Brice Lee is just a dumb name. But again, I was tired.
I want to hear you laugh again. See you smile again on Skype. Love again. I know you have to cry it out, but I wish I could cheer you up. Should I tell you knock-knock jokes?
"You have BMF...."
That might have been the only thing he said that wasn't a lie.
I wish I had more words, better words.
Hi, Betwixt and thanks for commenting. I know it's hard to find the right words for the situation. I think I'm still in the denial stage of grief. I can't believe I can't text him all of my little tidbits of my day. One friend recommended I jot my people watching in he notes on my iPhone, instead of texting all those gems to Guy. That's a good idea. Blog ideas could come out that.
While I think he's being an asshole and his wife's a ball-slinging hosebag, I haven't quite hit the total anger stage yet. I'm too heartbroken.
Um, from your last comment, it DOES sound like you've reached the ball-slinging anger stage.
Another good one would've been The Supremes' "You Keep Me Hanging On," re-done by Kim Wilde in the 80's Good tune. Way better than Bryan Adams' "Run to You," and less of a headache.
Marginally less of a headache.
I wish I could remember how the conversation ended, or more of how it ended, but once I started bawling, I sort of lost all sense of what the fuck was going on. He did say I was "wonderful," which was a break from the script, I suppose. I don't know. But he called me "Andrea," and not "Annie," and usually people only do that if they're mad at me, or they're Kate.
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