Thursday, July 26, 2012

Jesus' Snatch (Amazingly Safe For Work, Until You Read Further)

I don't know what to do with this picture. And, having spent the last day and a half largely asleep and/or brain dead, bedraggled and attempting to pony up what's left of my smarts for meeting w/a grad school admissions counselor tomorrow, my intellectual output at the moment is sparse.

It was on Facebook, is totally meant to be innocent, but there's SO much that can be dirtily inferred and I'm totally going to hell, but I've never quite seen a picture of Jesus looking adoringly at a little lamb, with the word "SNATCH" attached to it. At least it's a lamb...

Foul and inappropriate comments are not only welcome, but encouraged.

Meanwhile, on Facebook today, some babe was, as the commentary to some picture my friend Heather and I liked (I don't even remember what the fucking picture depicted), saying that she was explaining "proper" anatomical nomenclature to her 5-year old daughter, and said that she told her daughter that "babies come from a woman's vulva." Wait a second. The last time I had a baby, albeit via c-section, my vulva wasn't remotely involved, nor is it to my best recollection that humans are expelled OUT of their mothers' vulva. I simply commented, "Um. Babies come from a woman's uterus, not her vulva." It could've been I was missing something really obvious, or jumped into the discussion late, or didn't read everything correctly, but while the vulva certainly can be involved in the act of making said baby, its involvement in the birthing process is really kind of process-inconsequential. Either all that, or I'm still pissed off that my vagina was cut open & sewn up during my hysterectomy, rendering me very-consequentially (though not put into practice since the operation, obviously, so no opinion has been offered) as floppy and worn out as any other woman who pushed a humanoid or 3 through her ditty bag.

The Offbeat Drummer is REALLY off her beat today.


best male friend said...

Picture? "Safe for work," but creepy and guaranteed to attract, as if you need more weirdos visiting your site, dudes into beastiality. I can't STAND all of those Jesus/kids/animals pictures. Your anatomical analysis? Correct, I think! Which one of you, you or Craig, is having the "talk" with Luke? Make sure you have the facts checked first. And quit publicly fretting about your damn twat. Legions of men would line up to test your hypothesis. You said "snatch." Ha.

Dubya said...

A class act, Andrea. Class act.