Ok, let's just get this one thing straight: I don't make out with all of my male friends. I have lots of male friends. Lots of cute ones. That doesn't mean an amorous congressional hearing is taking place every time I go out.
I don't want to make out with all of my male friends. Girls are a little more discriminatory than guys are about who they want to kiss and who they don't want to kiss. Usually, if you're a guy and a girl who's your friend (who you think is cute) wants to kiss you, you're like, "Yay!" Right? So you end up kissing at some point and you're like "Yay!" Right? (Or, if you're gay, you know, you do do your own thing, etc.)
So I don't go around indiscriminately smooching people.
There are friends of mine who are male who I'd love to make out with, but it's logistically improbable or geographically impossible. So I don't kiss them either.
I kiss friends, who are guys, who kiss me too. I see nothing wrong with this. It's enjoyable. Keep in mind I'm not sleeping with anyone, despite the fact that yes, Guy knows damn well I *would* sleep with him, it's a dream, largely, but neither of us wants to get killed, and it'd turn something complicated into something REALLY complicated and would probably wreck the friendship, which means the world to me.
He should know me well enough by now (he does, he's just really awkward and taken aback, & it goes back to his denial of his attractiveness versus his general....I don't even know what to call it, and Catholic guilt) that I'm not going to honestly ask him to give serious consideration to my frequently-medication-enhanced Ambiensiac/Valiumed late-night email fantasy ideas. (HA! Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" just came on iTunes.)
Guy, if you're going to kiss me, don't *blame* me because you kissed me. Don't blame Demon Alcohol. I didn't force-kiss you. You kissed me first! You should kiss me like it's your last fucking day on Planet Earth, which it very well might be. Maybe you only like to kiss me when you're tipsy, which I guess is pretty common with guys, I don't know. Tell me I'm pretty, because you think I'm pretty. Hold my hand, because that's polite. Hug me because we ARE friends and I'm infinitely huggy and I love to be held. You can't tell me you love me and not love me at the same time (theoretically, anyway). Confused? Me too.
So I'm recently single. I mean, I was the whole time, but that includes recently.
"Call the cops! It's already out there!"