Thursday, February 7, 2008

Driving in the Snow...

Driving in the Snow (Dedicated to Julia, of course)
Current mood: devious
Category: Life

Chicago got like another gazillion inches of snow yesterday, and no, I'm not exaggerating. I'm serious as a freaking heart attack, which is nearly what I had whilst shoveling my driveway out AGAIN yesterday. Seriously, we got about another foot.

Being the proactive thinking little girl I am, I dug the car out yesterday while the storm was tapering to flurries, so that I'd only have maybe 3-4 inches to dig out this morning as opposed to a foot. I had cleaned off my Pacifica all around, but I'd left the gazillion pounds of snow atop the roof. No big whoop, I thought.

Till motion and temperature started to melt and disjoint all of that snow. I'd gone to Happy Foods (why it's called this, I'm not sure. The personnel are rather grumpy) for a few sundries and upon pulling out of their itty-bitty, but happy parking lot, I kind of boomed into the curb, thereby dislodging half of the snow atop my vehicle. Which, as one might conclude, all avalanched down onto my front window, completely blocking my view and nearly careening me into the car in front of me.

Luckily, I didn't hit anyone, pulled over, flashed the hazards and took the brush to the snow and went on with my afternoon. But it nearly turned my trip to Happy Foods into a trip to Major Expensive Catastrophe Foods.

Once I was en route to St Paul to pick Luke up, I was at the red light at Canfield and Higgins. In front of me and one lane over was a black pickup truck, driven by your average white, mid 50's white trash fella. Said fella opened his DOOR, not just his window, at the red light, and proceeded to hock about 48 oz. of loogie out of his mouth. In public! At the red lght! Dude, if you can't handle your lung butter, give up the Marlboros! I let out an aloud, "GROSS!"

But not before I stopped to get more laundry detergent at YET another store, where I parked behind a very mommyish minivan that had a bumper sticker on the simply said, "SCREW GUILT." Right on, sister! Incidentally, guilt-free woman, it would behoove you to remove the ton of snow off of your van roof so you don't suffer the same slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune that plagued me this afternoon.

Ah, Chicago in Winter.

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