Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Most Exciting Divorce News in Quite Some Time!

This'd be even more excellent news if I wasn't under a gag order to tell you all why I think this is excellent news.

The Captain and Tennille are getting a divorce after 39 years of marriage!

Surely they outlived the muskrats, love couldn't keep them together and she got tired of him doing that to her one more fucking time. I assume that song referred to him wearing that ridiculous Captain Steubing hat everyfucking where they went.

Never give up, forlorn ladies! (No, I'm not talking about seeking out the affections of The Captain.)

Everyone's replaceable, even those seemingly endless loves.

No disrespect to their heartache, but holy hell!

Who did what to whom with whom and when and why and what happened?

This oughta put the fright of Christ in every couple married over 25 years. THE CAPTAIN AND TENNILLLE BROKE UP.


Anonymous said...

I don't think I've ever seen anyone eat up total 70's has-been quasi-celebrity news with such ravenous fervor as you just have, Andrea.

Andrea Miklasz said...

Just to clarify, this gag order comes under the request of someone other than school, 'cause whatever.

Very Moon said...

Well, for it to be a divorce in the making of over 30 years, of COURSE you'd have to go back as far as the '70s.

I'm wildly curious as to what the back story is too. Apparently not even happily ever after is safe. What a trip.

Andrea Miklasz said...

The lyrics to "Love Will Keep Us Together" are eerily prophetic if you listen to it now. I wonder if he left her for a younger woman, which Toni buffed off in that song.