A Cheekbone Nightmare Abruptly Awakened Me From Early Morning Summer Slumber.

A Cheekbone Nightmare Abruptly Awakened Me From Early Morning Summer Slumber.
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Music

Ack. I have a hard enough time getting restful sleep, so imagine my crankiness after a nightmare about Fergie's melting cheekbones roused me from my otherwise peaceful summer morning snoozefest. The dream was almost exactly like the scene in Pink Floyd's "The Wall" (which I watched the other night) when a drug-crazed Bob Geldof's flesh melts as his manager and roadies are dragging him to the gig. Not pretty.

Fergie already had a secure spot on an unseemingly endless list of Things I Find Supremely Irritating, but climbed up a few notches after the melting cheekbones segued into a loop of that horrifyingly craptastic "Clumsy" single which refused to mute in my head at 6:10 in the morning. Suffice it to say it'd be almost more pleasant to listen to Yoko Ono moan while she's on a toilet with a raging case of amoebic dysentery.

Consider yourself lucky if you've been spared the agony of All Things Fergie. But on the off chance you're unfamiliar or your curiosity has been piqued, 1) I'm really sorry and 2) here's the video, which packs a 2-for-1 punch of both her blechy face and shitariffic music.