Luke's Nuts.

Luke’s Nuts.
Current mood: embarrassed
Category: Life

Luke was ecstatic to find his half-nut (some half-shell from some random nut from his Cub Scout camping trip last spring) in one of my desk drawers this evening. So much so, that he was skipping around the apartment, exclaiming, "I FOUND MY NUT!" (Well, YAY YOU, LUKE!)

I attribute half of his zany half-nut rediscovery to the lunar eclipse. Either that, and certainly the more logical explanation, is that my son is clearly almost as strange as his mother.

Cue bath time. Luke wanted to take the half-nut into the tub with him and wash it off. Getting impatient, I told him, "Lucas, get you and ALL OF YOUR NUTS into the tub, NOW."

Luke: "I have four nuts."

Me: "No, you have two, technically."

Luke (pointing to his butt): "No, look...one, two, (pointing afront) three, four! And a half (pointing to the Cub Scout half-nut)!"

Me (and any of you modern Honesty Rules parents that want to email and scold me for my offbeat motherhood, screw you...you try raising an inquisitve genius boy half-nuttedtly on your own): "No, Luke, your testicles are your "nuts," of which you have two. Your butt is your butt. Your half-nut doesn't play into the 'nut count' whatsoever."

Luke: "I'm gonna wash my half-nut anyway."

Me: "Great, wash all of your nuts in the tub and let me know when you're clean."

Luke: "Are my 'nuts' the things that have all the weird veins in them?"

Me: "Um......(scrambling).....your 'nuts' are your testicles. Case closed. Get washed up and ready for bed."

Luke: "My nuts are like the vegetables in Chinese food at a restaurant."

Me: "ACK!!!!!!!!!!!"

Luke: "I can hear the forest in my nuts."

Me: "I'll take your word for it. AHHHHHHHHHH!"

(Wiping brow)

(Distant voice from the bathroom...."MOM, ARE YOU BLOGGING ABOUT ME????"

Me: "Um.......(scrambling)"