Goodness Gracious, That CAN’T Be Healthy (Nevermind True)
Current mood: 
awake
Category: MySpace
So I'm awake, I made a pot of coffee, and I'm searching LimeWire for the version of "O, Holy Night" that Luciano Pavarotti sings in both English and Latin. Whenever Luke rolls out of bed, I will bake him the afore-promised cinnamon rolls for Sunday breakfast. Then I'll contemplate going to the 10:45 am church service, unless, of course, I fall back asleep, leaving God to shake His head in disappointment. Ah, well.
At any rate, I have to take issue with the extremely annoying ads that myspace includes in my profile, home page and banners. I understand that myspace programs the site to place "relevant" ads on our pages, though I can't remember when I might have indicated to myspace, my blog or the world in general, that I feel the need to lose weight. Granted, at my heaviest in 2006, I weighted 216 pounds and I now weight 127 pounds, but this is not a factoid I publish or email or advertise on a regular basis when I'm online.
Technically, then, I lost 89 pounds over an almost 3 year period, mostly by diet and exercise, but about 25 as a result of quitting the sauce in February, and probably another 15 by employing my "all nicotine and stress" regiment.
The ads on myspace show before/after shots of a woman's very large midsection, claiming "I lost 27 pounds in 2 weeks!" or a bikini-clad woman's after picture next to her before, where she's donning a frock by Omar the Tentmaker, exclaiming "I lost 37 pounds in a week and my friends can't believe it!"
Neither can the rest of the sane, general population, dear. To say these ads are outlandish is an understatement, and I honestly can't grasp that even the most despondent and desperate obese person would put much credence in them. Advertising is advertising, and quack products are quack products, but please...27 pounds in 2 weeks!?!?! Maybe if the woman had a serious attack of Crohn's disease or spontenously had all of her limbs amputated (now THAT would be an "after" picture!). Otherwise, no diet claim could ever, in history, provide such rapid results; or certainly, not without also admitting that the user was suffering from a cacophony of rapid weight-loss related dire, serious medical complications.
People who either know me or have seen my "before" pictures frequently ask me "how I did it." I did not use weight loss medications or supplements, nor did I have any sort of surgical assistance. My plan was to eat sensible, healthy portions of very mostly whole foods, drink lots of water and exercise for 1 1/2 hours, six days a week at my gym that was similar to the "Curves" chain (cardio, hydraulic machines and free weights).
For the first few months, my weight loss was consistent but slow, usually 2-3 pounds a week. Once my metabolism revved up, the most I would lose was 5 pounds a week, though it's hard to estimate since my trainer only weighed and measured me once every six weeks. Measuring, to me, was even more important than weighing, because often, inches would come off or tone up (as a result of the exercise) without losing a given amount of weight. Slow and steady weight loss was the key to both good health and successfully reshaping my appearance.
My weight loss plan satarted in February of 2006. By October of that year, I'd lost about 50 pounds and 47" from my frame. My BMI (body mass index) had returned to a healthy level from an obese level, and technically, I could have stopped losing weight at that point. It was a mazing, however, how pounds just melted off after I stopped drinking in February of 2008. Alcohol metabolizes in the body like 100% pure sugar, so it's absence, plus me drinking 2 liters of seltzer water a day, helped. Then the whole nicotine and stress diet...don't ask.
Bottom line--healthy wiehgt loss is possible and probable if you follow a sane, healthy plan. No magic pill will melt 27 pounds off your body in 2 weeks and if it does, you'll likely die of cardiac arrest.
And myspace? Put something new up, sheesh!
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